


Seven of Nine

by viverl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, EXO Next Door - Freeform, Gen, Glory days - Freeform, How are you Bread, Junmyeon gets split up into all his acting roles, M/M, Member-centric, Multiple Crossovers, OT9 - Freeform, Richman, School of Oz, Star of the Universe, The Last Kiss, crackfic, no knowledge about Junmyeon's roles needed, the members need to work together to get their Junmyeon back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 01:42:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15062291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viverl/pseuds/viverl
Summary: Junmyeon is split into the characters from his acting roles.Baekhyun, Chanyeol and the other members need to work together to get their leader back.





	Seven of Nine

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has spoilers for Glory Days but all other works are fine; no spoilers.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much to my betas Pinkmyeon and GI! You're patience and support is highly appreciated!

This fic has spoilers for Glory Days but all other works are fine. You don't need to know any of the works, here is all you need to know:

 

 **CEOmyeon** \- [Yoochan ](https://goo.gl/images/HCZEGR)(Rich Man) - resident asshole CEO of his IT company (Next In), suffers from face blindness, has a virtual assistant named Dorothy on his phone.

 

 **Fake-Suho** \- “[Suho](https://goo.gl/images/9xotLh)” (EXO Next Door) - the mom of EXO who misses Kris and leans on crutches due to a leg injury.

 

 **Deadmyeon** \- [Sangwoo ](https://goo.gl/images/irdxzB)(Glory Days) - the character has no screen time at all, he gets hit by a car instantly.

 

 **Idolmyeon** \- [Woojoo ](https://goo.gl/images/MSNS2V)(Star Of The Universe) - an idol singer who doesn't get anything done without his managers. Glares at people a lot, looks cool in sunglasses.

 

 **Bakingmyeon** \- Ha [Dowoo ](https://goo.gl/images/zh6L1m)(How are you bread) - a baker with a motorcycle. Looks good in leather. This drama has never been broadcasted due to Chinese/Korean relationship troubles.

 

 **Cosplayer/ Princely sidekick 1** \- [Hans ](https://goo.gl/images/sdmfx7)(School of Oz) - a magical prince who can turn into a wolf. Has to find his crush Dorothy who was kidnapped.  Knows Minseok as Aquila (bird shapeshifter that can’t fly).

 

 **Princely sidekick 2** \- Prinz [Rudolf ](https://goo.gl/images/iBhvRm)(The Last Kiss) - a German/Austrian prince from 200 years ago who speaks only German.

 

  


* * *

 

  
  
  


There were seven of them. Seven Junmyeons facing off eight EXO members where there had been only one Junmyeon seconds before.

 

“This is a little bit like when I joined twitter…“ Baekhyun commented.

 

Chanyeol looked at him in confusion.

 

“Everyone around me wore the same nine faces. OK, this time it's only one face that is on too many bodies. But still...” Baekhyun explained.

 

“Weird.”

 

“Why is that one wearing leather armour?”

 

“Where is the original? Where's my-, I mean, our Junmyeon?” Sehun's voice told them that he was on the verge of panic.

 

Minseok planted his hands on the tall maknae’s shoulders.

 

“Breath. We'll get everything back to normal and have our Junmyeonnie back. Promise.” Minseok was panicking as well but he had to take the lead now and take care of his members.

 

“I might be a bit panicky,” Chanyeol whispered to Baekhyun, who leaned into him and enfolded the other’s big hand in his smaller ones.

 

“I got you,” Baekhyun smiled at him.

 

“Skinship always helps!” A cheery fake voice interrupted the tender moment. “Sehun, come to eomma!” The weirdly familiar Junmyeon-clone held his arms out for Sehun.

 

But Sehun only watched him, his eyes widened in pure horror.

“Don’t EVER call yourself that or I’m breaking up with you immediately. Or… I mean… with my Junmyeon. Who ARE you?!” Sehun yelled at him, his confusion making him aggressive.

 

“Ewww, Seho is incest!” Replied the fake Junmyeon-clone, his nose crunched up in disgust.

 

Sehun’s back became rigid, he stepped two steps back from the other. “That’s it. This isn’t happening. My boyfriend did NOT just say that to me. Whoever that is, keep him away from me.” Sehun folded his arms and turned his back on him.

  
  


* * *

 

“So let me get this straight,” Chanyeol said. His hands were stretched out around his head over the table as if they could hold in all of his confusion.

 

“Straight - haha!” The man with the familiar face but weird attitude sitting across from him joked. He gestured at Baekhyun's hand that was resting comfortably high on Chanyeol's thigh.

 

Baekhyun threw him a pointed look.

 

“It's funny. Because you're not straight, get it?” The man explained, leaning on his crutches although he was currently sitting.

 

“I understood your reference, it's just not funny,” Baekhyun told him with a blank face. His hand didn't move an inch.

 

The other man kept on smiling broadly but his eyes and the drop in his form less straight showed his confusion, a shot against his confidence.

 

“This one is even less funny than our Junmyeon,” Chanyeol groaned. He let his head rest in his arms in a theatrical gesture.

 

Baekhyun nodded absentmindedly.

 

“Excuse me, you are always mentioning this Junmyeon-person, who is he? He must have some similarities with me if people confuse us.” The stranger whipped his hair and stretched his neck to show off his beautiful face and neck.

 

“How can you not know your own name?” Chanyeol replied in exasperation.

 

“I'm EXO's Suho! I'm like the mom of EXO!” The brown haired man smiled brightly at the two men by his side. “You're all my kids and Kris - may he rest in peace - is the dad! You know that.”

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes at him and Chanyeol made vomiting noises.

 

“Please! It's not 2012 and none of us is Tao,” Chanyeol scolded him. That joke was so stale, he thought it had long died a well-deserved death.

 

Fake-Suho blinked his big eyes at him, uncomprehending.

 

“Junmyeon is not EXO's mom. You're not our leader, you’re not the real Suho! You're just one of them!” Baekhyun gestured with a wide wave of his arm at the different incarnations of their leader scattered across the room.

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were sitting at the kitchen bar with EXO NEXT DOOR’s Suho while Kyungsoo was keeping HOW ARE YOU BREAD’s Dowoo occupied in the kitchen. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had decided to call him Bakingmyeon.

 

Together those two were preparing a feast-like meal for all the hungry men in the dorm. They seemed like a good match, although Dowoo (Bakingmyeon) had received the one or the other rant from Kyungsoo already for acting too arrogant in Kyungsoo’s kitchen. Dowoo always promised to show Kyungsoo his work but then delayed it again and again, somehow blaming “the Chinese” for holding him back. It was quite confusing.

 

Minseok came back from the restroom, drying his hands on a rag.

“The others should be back from the store soon.” He sighed. “I put him on ice…. Can you please remind me why we have a body with Junmyeon's face in our tub?” Minseok sighed even deeper.

 

“You mean Deadmyeon?” Baekhyun asked.

 

“That's Sangwoo. He got hit by a car like three minutes after all of those guys appeared and Junmyeon disappeared,” Chanyeol explained, chewing on a carrot.

 

“Since they kind of split up from our Junmyeon we thought it best to keep him handy. Don't want to have a missing puzzle piece,” Baekhyun added.

 

The members were all very cool about Sangwoo’s instant death, but they had seen Glory Days after all.

 

“And we can't have a body with Junmyeon's face showing up outside,” Chanyeol commented.

 

“Poor Dead-Myeon,” Fake-Suho commented, teary eyed.

 

Minseok gave him a cold look. “Of all those guys, he is the worst. He should be the easiest to handle but he is so weird! No wonder Sehun is avoiding him like the plague.”

 

Fake-Suho gave Minseok an insulted and hurt look. “Xiumin…”

 

“Please don't use stage names in the dorm.”

 

“He doesn't even know his own real name!” Chanyeol slapped the table. “Forget it.”

 

“I'm more irked by the sugar daddy over there conspiring with the two cosplayer,” Baekhyun gestured over to RICH MAN’s Yoochan, SCHOOL OF OZ’s Hans and THE LAST KISS’s Rudolf. One was wearing an elegant business suit, one leather armor and the last a European prince attire. They were all very much overdressed. Minseok had instantly retrieved the princes’ weapons when he had discovered they were armed.

 

Chanyeol laughed a little too loud at Baekhyun’s description of the CEO and the two princes in their uncommon outfits.

 

“The blond one always calls me Aquila and asks me about birds. I can't even…“ Minseok shook his head. He felt the stress inside grow and grow. Especially now that he had to be the leader of their group. He threw a longing look to the closet in which his beloved vacuum was waiting for him. But he was too busy for stress-cleaning with Junmyeon gone and his doppelgangers roaming the dorm.

 

Loud laughter from the other side of the room drew the attention of Chanyeol's small group sitting at the kitchen bar away from Yoochan’s conspirative whispers with his two princelings (“CEOmyeon and his princely sidekicks”, Minseok had named them).

 

Sehun and STAR OF THE UNIVERSE’s Woojoo’s had hit it off right away. (Idolmyeon was the most current nickname for him.) They both had a similar cold demeanor paired with a warm heart who liked to hide behind sunglasses.

 

Sehun had explained to Chanyeol that Woojoo/Idolmyeon was just the right mix between being similar to Junmyeon and vastly different enough to not mix them up.

 

Woojoo had been lost without his manager and had started to follow Sehun like a trainee his idol.

Sehun enjoyed being the sunbae. And it kept his worry about the real Junmyeon's disappearance at bay.

  
  


“We're back!” Jongdae, Jongin and Yixing entered the dorm, packed full with groceries.

 

Jongdae groaned when he lifted a heavy bag of ice cubes from his dripping wet shoulder. “Where should I put it?” The plastic sack slowly dropped water onto the floor and Minseok dropped to his knees to dry it immediately.

 

“Just empty it directly onto the body in the tub. Take Fake-Suho with you as help,” Baekhyun advised him.

 

“I'm not fake!” Fake-Suho yelped. His crutches dropped to the floor but he didn't seem to notice. Minseok stored them away.

 

Jongdae's eyebrow rose but he just handed the Fake-Suho some ice to carry. The other helped him without limping.

 

When they had left hearing distance Chanyeol snickered. “You just wanted to get rid of him!”

 

“What if I did?” Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders. Chanyeol grinned once more, he leaned over to drop a smack on Baekhyun cheek.

 

“We need a plan to get our Junmyeon back!” Yixing reminded the group. “Also, is it just me or shouldn't we panic?”

 

“Keep calm and carry on,” was Minseok’s heartfelt advice.

 

There was a lot of noise and disturbance while Jongin stored away groceries. He tried not to disturb Kyungsoo’s and Dowoo’s aka Bakingmyeon’s cooking process. Or else provoke another rant by Kyungsoo.

 

“Oh, by the way. I almost forgot, I found this in the alley where we lost Junmyeon and found those clowns,” Jongin held up a wrist bracelet with a big amber in the center.

 

“Isn't that the one from our music video?” Chanyeol exclaimed.

 

“It looks just like it,” Baekhyun leaned closer.

 

“Do you think there is a connection?” Yixing thought out loud.

 

“We could try using it,” Kyungsoo added from the hearth.

 

“But how?” Jongin spun the bracelet in his hands, searching for an answer.

 

“Like have all of them touch it?” Sehun glanced around. “By the way, where did that jerk and his two royal followers go to? CEOmyeon and the princely sidekicks.” Sehun had not taken well to CEO Yoochan.

 

“They're over there -oh, they were over there,” Chanyeol gestured to the now empty seats of the couch.

 

“Oh no,” Minseok sighed.

 

* * *

 

Seoul, unknown alley, 45 minutes earlier

  


Yoochan was the first of the group to turn up his nose at the whole group of men wearing his face. They seemed oddly familiar to him but he wasn’t any good with faces so he didn't really register the weird position he was in.

 

He set up his collar, squared his shoulders and turned away from the group. He took out his phone, trying to connect to his _minifile_. When it didn’t work he began cursing at the phone.

 

The others ignored him, Prince Hans included. Hans was even more shell-shocked than most of the others. After all, he came from a whole different universe where magic was real and huge cities like Seoul unheard fantastic creatures. He felt displaced in his white fancy leather armor, cradling his armored glove, glaring at the men and occasionally at things in his direct vicinity.

 

Until Yoochan, the elegantly-styled man next to him, started to mutter to someone named Dorothy in a low voice. Dorothy!

 

“What did you just say?” Hans turned towards Yoochan, mustering him with hard eyes. His icy-blond hair fell into his eyes.

 

“Dorothy?” Yoochan replied, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“Dorothy! How do you know her?” Hans stormed towards him, his heavy clothing making him bigger.

 

“She’s… in here?” Yoochan wiggled his phone in front of Hans’ face.

 

Hans stepped even closer to Yoochan, staring at the unknown device in the other’s hand.

“How does she fit in there? How did she get in there? Magic?”

 

“I put her there. You could call my genius skills magical, that’s appropriate,” Yoochan smirked.

 

Hans stared at him with dark eyes.

 

“Excuse me, how did I get here? I’m Sangwoo, by the way”, a youthful, dark haired version interrupted them. The boy stared at them expectantly.

 

“Lee Yoochan, CEO of Next In, ” Yoochan furrowed his brows, leaned back his head and glared in his most arrogant CEO pose.

 

Hans bowed his head slightly at them. “Prince Hans of  the Grou-tribe.”

 

Loud silence.

 

All eyes were on the blond man in medieval cosplay garb.

 

“Prince? Ich bin Prinz Rudolf!” A grim looking man in a proper European uniform stepped to the small group, smiling brightly at Hans. Rudolf made a formal European bow. Yoochan and Sangwoo answered with Korean style bows while Hans nodded regally.

 

“Guten Tag,” Yoochan had been recently to Switzerland and remembered his three German vocabels.

 

Rudolf’s eyes widened, happy to find the first person making him feel more at ease in the foreign surroundings.

 

“This is really weird,” Sangwoo said to no one in particular. “You all kind of look like me.” He eyed the other three men, shrugged and slowly wandered around the alley.

 

“Are we related?” Prince Hans asked Prinz Rudolf.

 

“Ridiculous!” Yoochan turned again back to his phone. He had trouble connecting to his company network. The internet connection must have been impaired. This would never have happened if Next In were working on that!

 

The princes’ family background check was cut short by a loud tire screeching and an ominous thumping noise.

 

“Sangwoo?!” Rudolf yelled.

  
  


* * *

  
  


It took the EXO members two hours to find CEOmyeon and his princely sidekicks - Yoochan, Rudolf and Hans. Yoochan had tried to find his company in Seoul, then his home and then his church. To no avail.

 

The two princes had followed him with growing resentment. They were too unfamiliar and confused running through 2018’s Seoul to ditch their more and more desperate leader.

 

Baekhyun, Fake-Suho and Chanyeol found the three in a Christian church. Chanyeol had found a picture on Instagram of some fans that were wondering at the shooting of a weird new TV show they had stumbled upon. Because it had to be, right? Why else would there be Suho doppelgangers sitting around a church in the middle of Seoul?

  


All three men were sitting exhausted on the Church’s steps. Yoochan was talking to himself incessantly while the princes exchanged annoyed looks.

 

It didn’t need a lot of persuasion from Baekhyun to bring the missing Junmyeon puzzle pieces back to the dorm.

 

* * *

 

 

In the dorm the members had regrouped and formed a plan.

 

Minseok and Kyungsoo would prepare everything they might need for their attempt to retrieve the original Junmyeon. Meanwhile, Baekhyun and Chanyeol would keep CEOmyeon Yoochan busy with video games, thus keeping him too busy to run away again; Jongin and Jongdae would keep an eye on the other doppelgangers; Yixing and Sehun would transport Deadmyeon Sangwoo from his frosty bathtub into the desired position.

  


* * *

 

At the table, Jongin played cards with the princes, Bakingmyeon and Fake-Suho. On the couch, Baekhyun and CEOmyeon Yoochan had a shouting match about who was the better gamer.

 

“Stop dropping the coins, we’ll need them later on!” Yoochan scolded Baekhyun, both of them deeply engrossed into a role play game.

 

“I have no space in my inventary, you carry that stuff if you think it’s so useful!” Baekhyung hissed back.

 

“This game is trash! At Next In I would have made it much better!” Yoochan’s on-screen character had just died.

 

“Yeah, whatever,” Baekhyun rebooted the game.

 

“Don’t whatever me!”

 

“We get it, you’re a super rich sugar daddy,” Baekhyun told him with an eyeroll.

 

Yoochan shuddered at that. “That’s disgusting. Are you stereotyping me because of this stupid suit? Why are you keeping me from getting rid of it anyway? I want to be comfortable!”

 

“Everyone needs to be in their original state, we can’t risk this not working because of the wrong clothes,” Minseok interrupted their quarreling in a long suffering voice. He really did not like to be the leader.

 

“But Sangwoo is dead - that’s not his original state,” Yoochan pointed out.

 

“Might be debatable. If you’re dead 95% of the movie, doesn’t that make it your original state?” Baekhyun replied.

 

“I just want to go back. I want my _minifile_ and my black credit card back. I feel naked here.” CEOmyeon Yoochan told them.

 

“I have three black credit cards,” Fake-Suho quickly held up the cards. How had he retrieved them so fast from his pocket?

 

“Weren’t you just at the table with Jongin, playing cards?” Chanyeol asked him.

 

“If it’s about money I’m always available. I’m $uho after all!” Fake-Suho replied happily.

 

“You’re an idiot. Also, I’m richer than you,” Yoochan told him with conviction.

 

“You’re not!” Fake-$uho’s honor was violated after this statement.

 

“I am!” CEOmyeon Yoochan did not back out of a fight.

 

“Stop it right now! I bet if you had paper money you’d throw it at each other,” Minseok exclaimed, his patience growing thin.

 

Fake-$uho nodded in silent agreement, CEOmyeon Yoochan sneered at him.

  


Minseok decided it was now or never.

 

He unceremoniously switched off the game console and retrieved the rucksack with the princes’ arms out of its hiding spot. Minseok gathered the princes around and gave them their belongings back.

“Here are your weapons, don’t you dare use them!”

 

Both nodded mutely.

 

Yixing and Sehun carried the dripping corpse of Sangwoo from the iced bathtub into the living room.

 

“Place Deadmyeon here on the plastic quilt,” Minseok advised.

 

The members took their prepared positions and pushed their respective Junmyeon-clone into a circle position. Every incarnation faced the middle of this circle, the wrist band had been slung around Deadmyeon’s hand who was positioned into a sitting position against the couch.

 

“Everyone touch the wrist band now,” Minseok ordered.

 

The incarnations followed through, although slowly. CEOmyeon Yoochan - started although grumbling at being surrounded by idiots. He was eager to leave for home. The two princes quickly followed his lead. Idolmeyon and Bakingmyeon nodded at each other and joined as well.

 

“I don’t want to touch the dead one,” Fake-Suho whined, leaning onto his crutches.

 

Chanyeol pushed him roughly, making him lose his balance. Fake-Suho tried to catch himself on Deadmyeon, touching the wrist band as the last one and for a moment nothing happened.

 

The members stared at the group, trying to will them away.

 

“Please, please, take these clowns and give us back our Junmyeon!” Chanyeol uttered under his breath.

 

Sehun clenched his teeth.

 

All members were united in their wish to end this misery and welcome back their missing leader. They had only realized during his absence how much they missed him.

 

All of him. His genuineness. His caring attitude including his nagging. Even his jokes.

 

One moment a group of six Junmyeon’s was holding hands with a Junmyeon-corpse and in the next moment only one man stood in front of them.

 

Cheering erupted from the group.

 

Junmyeon jumped, looking at them wide-eyed. “Are you ok? Weren’t we on our way shopping? Why is the floor wet? Wh-”

 

Sehun’s tight hug interrupted Junmyeon’s endless flow of questions. Junmyeon’s face was pressed into the other’s broad shoulders and no clear words could be heard.

 

“Shouldn’t we make sure it’s really him?” Jongdae interrupted the happy hooting.

 

“You’re right. But how?” Yixing said.

 

Sehun grabbed Junmyeon’s chin, locking their gazes.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“Junmyeon, your boyfriend, you daft-”, Junmyeon was interrupted again, this time by Sehun kissing him into oblivion. Sehun released him a moment later.

 

Junmyeon blinked at him.

 

Sehun smiled brightly at the group, “It’s him.”

 

Junmyeon let out a pained noise as he was being squished into a huge cuddle pile.

  
  
  



End file.
